a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
