She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
