This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
