It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
