i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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