This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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