maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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