I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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