ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
