Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
