I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
