I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
