You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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