I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize