Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
