party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
