And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
