that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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