Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
