Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
