Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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