Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
