dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
