pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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