Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
