you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Operation Purity has been aborted
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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