When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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