My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
