no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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