i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I could fuck to npr.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
