since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
