His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
