Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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