He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
