Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
