Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize