Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
