from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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