2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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