Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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