The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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