New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
