My liver just broke up with me...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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