Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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