i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
