he thought i was a dude.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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