you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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