someone owes me an orgasm
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
