So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
