im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Randomize
