so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
