I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
