hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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