The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
