I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
