honey bunches of taint.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
