happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
